Cure CSD-Communication Stress Disorders – Verbal or Virtual Now

Curing Crosstalk and CSD As Communications Will Always Fail Except by Chance

by Thomas B. Cross CEO – Techtionary &

Crosstalk comes in many forms. Once in an old WWII movie the actor said, “there was a lot of crosstalk” (overlapping dialogue in movie jargon) going on between all the people in the restaurant bar, stadiums, parties or anywhere else. Crosstalk is also a technical term for transmission of one set of signals across to another set of copper wires causing interference. Crosstalk is what people really do every day. They don’t talk to you, they talk at you, through you or across you to another or worse behind your back. In the great movie, the Imitation Game, the younger Alan Turing, was confused saying that “people never say what they mean and you have to figure out what they mean.” Turing went on to break some but not all versions of the Enigma Machine. With reportedly 159 million million codes, breaking the Enigma code was also an enigma. One might ask how many codes of human communication are there and unlike a machine, humans have sensory dimensions which also need to be deciphered before humans can communicate with one another.

Communications fails are the cause of so many untold business, personal and life experience issues it should rise to be recognized more like PTSD. CSD-communications stress disorders bring misery every day and make any kind of personal relationship truly terrible. Yet, what can we do about it.  How about starting by asking the person, “say that a different way, I didn’t understand what you said. Yes, asking again what the person is saying is not what is being heard and what actions are going to be taken from it. Yet the sender of the crosstalk needs to go first as the sender assumes the receiver understood what was said. Recently, I was asked to share an event across my social media to others about a webinar for a close friend. However, the friend was not the sender but only a friend offering to help promote the webinar. I did share the event and the presenter of the event rather than thanking me for my efforts, offered me a free registration to the event of a soft skills program. Rather than thanking me for my efforts, this person assumed that I was in need of this program. Senders should before they do anything should ask themselves, “give them someone they want, not what you want to give them.” Giving a bicycle to a blind person is probably not what they wanted. Major crises occur every day by making your own interpretation of what the message is rather than asking for “what do you think this means” before sending. 

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Long ago, in a book on email or virtual communications written long before most people had email, we found that email messages received were interpreted in the worst possible way. Called “flaming” it was that people took the wording in the worst or negative possible way. Even with complimentary words, words were received and taken negatively. Verbal is often taking better but misinterpreted worse. One colleague who got so tired of people doing what he asked verbally differently than he asked them, had forms created that at the top said, “avoid verbal orders.” The point is that virtual CSD or VCSD is more profound, worse and unpredictable at the same time. With the coming revolution in “voice-profiling” analysis of tone, phrasing, pitch, speed, authentication, gender, age, race, conscious and implied intent and other factors will impact probably not for the better but if transparent to all parties could be a great help to people who are clueless on their communications speech patterns.

In the spirit of keeping this to a one-minute read, like verifying your bank balance, verify your communications transaction by asking for a readout or reply or verbal explanation from the receiver of your message. And ideally audit the results. You will find as I have you will be amazed as what people really thought you said, meant, wrote or did. If you do, the good news is that, at least with the people you have tried this process, improved their own communications and actions that reflect your wishes or goals and frankly greater happiness.

Cures for CSD and other virtual communications disorders are found in these courses, email for details.

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